The Victory Life

What is your focus on?

Those that study the mind share scientific proof that whatever you focus on becomes a part of you. Whatever it is can become bigger and bigger until it is all consuming (whether true or false). Essentially what you dwell on, read, watch & post has become apart of your wiring in your brain. Whatever you spend the most time focusing on will generally dictate your responses or reactions to life.

When life gets difficult it can be easy for many to focus on those difficulties. Some of us hide. Others get busier. Or we get angry, sad and melancholy.

A victors life chooses to focus on victories rather than defeats or the potential of them. It does not matter what is going on in life, if you focus on joy and victory because of Jesus, there is nothing that can touch you. I am not saying that things won’t discourage you or tire you. But what I am saying is that you have what it takes to remain steadfast, to persevere and to praise God through it all.

No matter what you may be facing today pick up your joy. Pick up your hope.

God is for you.

Victory is yours because of Him.

Joy is your choice and that is something that can never be taken from you.

Choose the victory life.

Celebrate Michael

Let me introduce you to someone so precious. He was a miracle. He was a gift.

The first part of November I was having strange symptoms. At first I thought my body was responding to an amazing but extremely busy season of ministry & was protesting. I had also been battling colds for a month & a half. There was a strange fatigue that had settled in my body. So time went on & I remember feeling “pregnant”. I cast it aside as wishful thinking.

It had been impossible for me to conceive. I had already had a previous miscarriage that did not last past the first month early on in our marriage in 2011. I had already grieved through not being able to give birth to one of my own flesh. Hope was on the horizon to foster or adopt and continue loving my daughter (SD). I was content. 

In November a pregnancy test confirmed what was once deemed impossible. Our world was turning upside down and landed a bit lopsided in the most precious and beautiful way. 

I told my husband that I was battling against fear and could only believe life. I felt like I had already lost too much to handle any alternative. Every day I placed my hands on my belly and declared life. I prayed for every organ, for every tissue formation, ten toes, ten fingers and that all would go smoothly. At night I wept with thankfulness because of this beautiful miracle. I fell asleep embracing my baby and told him how much he was loved. The journey felt like a dream.

We had talked in detail about how we wanted to tell the good news and when to do it. Even though I wanted to shout and celebrate his life right away we both agreed that telling family in person would be the best way. 

(Week 6 pregnancy picture)

Week 6 went by and I was so sick & tired. I was so happy because it was the only way that I knew that he was doing well. Week 7, and 8 slipped by without any issues. By week 9 I was able to get into the Dr. and all my test results came back without any signs of complications. He was really coming! He was really real! By this time my belly was starting to grow & I felt pregnant for real for the first time.

Week 10 was the week we were going to tell our daughter & begin the journey to family for Christmas. Our daughter was beyond excited. She was already making plans. She was the best big sister ever!

The next day she could hardly contain her excitement as we were going to tell my husbands parents. Tears, smiles, hugs and congratulations were in order after breaking the good news. But a couple hours later I started to have slight cramping and instead of getting better my heart & body went on a journey I never thought it could handle.

The details into that night are too much for me to write out. The ER visit was horrific. What I was going through was unstoppable medically speaking and those working there did not acknowledge my sons life. With that perspective I know why I was treated as if what I was going through was not a big deal. 

Instead of a proper burial my baby is swimming in sewage because he was flushed down the toilet in the ER. Losing life and not being able to control what your body is doing is horrifying. 

Because of our miracle I have this need for people to know our son. He was important. He was not a blob of cells. His heart beat like yours and like mine. God still did a miracle in my body to be able to conceive and carry for 10 weeks. Those weeks I will cherish for the rest of my life. Our son helped my faith to grow. Impossible is fading out of my life. God is good and He never changes. 

Please meet our son. 

(Drawing by artist Brynna Hosszu)

His name is Michael which means, “Who is like God?”. It is a name passed down in my husbands family. When I give birth to my rainbow baby, Michael will be their middle name just like his Daddy and in remembrance of his big brother who prepared the way.

Michael you were and continue to be loved. It was a fun adventure while we had you with us, tiny as you were! 

Here are some of my favorite memories with you:

(We didn’t even know that we were a family of 4 during these fun moments in October)

(My first big ministry event knowing you were growing in my belly. It was a miracle I didn’t faint on stage due to sickness & fatigue. I remember telling you, “Okay baby, time to go worship God together! Let’s slay the enemy!” Photo Cred: Austin Groskopf, @agroskopf33)

(Family Thanksgiving 2017 two weeks early)

(Together for Thanksgiving at Long Beach)

(Our last full day together at Heritage Kids Family Christmas)

(This was our announcement photo. I bought 4 large stockings expecting your first Christmas with us would have been in 2018)

Enjoy time with Jesus & with my Mom sweet child. 

We love you Michael! 

Fight Back With Joy: Celebrate More. Regret Less. Stare Down Your Greatest Fears- Margaret Feinberg

Fight Back With Joy Bible Study

Fight Back with Joy: Celebrate More. Regret Less. Stare Down Your Greatest Fears.- Margaret Feinberg (Click on the link below to watch a video)

Fight Back With Joy


I found myself laughing and crying my way through Margaret Feinberg’s newest book, Fight Back with Joy. One of the things that I appreciate the most about Margaret is how she opens up about her painful journey through cancer. With her honesty it allows each of us as the reader to be able to be honest with ourselves. Too often when we walk into a path that is filled with darkness and loss, we sometimes can get lost within the depths of those powerful emotions of sadness and hopelessness. What Margaret so beautifully describes in this book is how there is always hope, and that we can choose joy as our greatest weapon against the darkness.


At the very beginning Margaret addresses the common misconception about joy that I think most of us have believed. She states, “For most of my life, I had thought of joy as a natural byproduct of a life well lived. A complimentary add-on, a tacked-on freebie.” I, too thought the same thing as Margaret. Although, I have had moments in the past 5 years where I slowly but surely have had different hints of what joy was really supposed to be, I have not fully grasped the truth about joy until my Mom passed away. Sometimes, just like with Margaret’s journey fighting cancer or like a life without my Mom, we find that joy is right there for us to take up for ourselves amidst the darkness, amidst the pain and sorrow. It is always our choice.


You must read this book to understand Margaret’s journey searching for joy is often much like our own. She tried a “yes experiment”, which failed. Each of us search for more in life. We want to be happy. We want fulfillment in life. We want things to go as we plan them. I am in full agreement with her when she says, “Many people live joyless lives because they don’t understand what joy is, what joy does, how to discover joy, and what to do with it once they find it.” I have lived joyless not because I did not want joy but because I did not understand what it was. I thought that joy meant always feeling happy and having my life circumstances just right.


“Practicing defiant joy is the declaration that the darkness does not and will not win. When we fight back with joy, we embrace a reality that is more real than what we’re enduring and we awaken to the deepest reality of our identity as beloved, joyful children of God.” Joy is a choice. It is as basic as that. As Margaret so beautifully points out, “we are created for joy”, and “we are destined for joy.” Jesus made it possible for us to have joy. It is definitely a part of our heritage.


Joy is your heritage


As I live and let go, and choose Jesus, I realize just how much joy is a choice for us. Too often people will play a blame game about their lives. Too often we can remain angry. Too often we think that our bitterness is because of how bad life has treated us. The reality is, is that our life is a gift. God extends grace to us everyday. He chooses to love us and pursue us even when we choose to ignore him. I can tell you from experience that when we choose Him, there is no end to the things that he wants to show us. Joy is one of those great gifts. It is a fruit of the Spirit and as such, if we choose Jesus, it should be an action in our daily lives.


When you choose joy, you will find that life is great even amidst the pain, the sorrow, and the darkness. Joy is powerful. Will you Fight Back With Joy? Margaret Feinberg has written an exceptional study on joy by being very honest and raw about her darkest journey so far. Through her testimony, we see how “life’s thorniest paths can lead to great joy.”


To purchase the book today please follow this link: http://mar.cta.gs/0biGreat Joy