Getting Caught Up…

I don’t know when things changed. I cannot tell you when it happened. What I do know is that I have forever been changed. My life looks a lot different than I ever thought it would look, and it is better than I imagined.

One day I made a choice to not live offended or full of anxiety and fear. At first it was not easy. It took a lot of discipline and consistency. I had to surrender my flesh and allow Holy Spirit to reign. Each day that I chose this, I moved closer to the feet of Jesus. One day, “it” just happened. Instead of finding myself shrinking back and silent, I was running towards my enemies in a full on attack. I had had enough and it was time for the thieves and liars to be put in their place. Every day I confronted injustices. Boldness grew to a 10ft giant inside my soul.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” – Ephesians 6:12 NLT

I see pain in others and injustices running rampant, and instead of fear I get angry at the abuse and mockery I see. My heart pumps full of love for those hurting. I want to run towards the evil causing the pain! I want to demolish it in its path. It is payback! I’m chasing it. It deserves to go back to hell where it belongs. Boldness grows because I know without a doubt who God is. He is big and mighty and so good. His heart is full of so much love that He designed eternity for us to experience His love every day.

It is His love that has held me steadfast in 2020. I have chosen to get caught up with Jesus rather than the current political climate, culture upheaval and media frenzy. Jesus is always the best decision. He calms storms, provides stability and brings contentment in every circumstance.

Stop sharing the news and begin sharing the Good News. Get caught up with Jesus.

Jesus is the Greatest!

The New Normal

While each of us are seeing summer transition and school begin amidst these strange times, I am so grateful for life. It doesn’t matter what may be going on because God never changes and His plans for us remain. His plans are always good.

Dreams are still coming true!

Some days I do not even know where to begin. Amidst all the pain, changes and transitions His goodness bounces off the walls and envelopes my family. My family! I cannot even grasp my love for them. I have no words for this time. Sweet moments come here and there, enhanced by battles raging back and forth. Forward, back and forward more. What matters is that love overflows in the hearts of my family and laughter fills their bellies. Tear stained eyes will become bright in time just as the sun breaks through after a storm.

My heart has broken in ways I never thought possible these past several months. Depravity continues to become more depraved, sinking lower until I hardly know which way is back out.

But Jesus!

Jesus is so grand and marvelous! He pulls me out of that muck in an instant. Light breaks through the darkest dark and the horrors of the night. He is always there. His presence consumes everything. Today, tomorrow and then by God’s grace, years and years from now, it will be worth it all. He is helping me see His might and strength, as well as His love and gentleness, defeat the graves intended to keep those I love from living.

From the depths of who I am, gratitude flows.

Just wait… Make sure you don’t miss Him through it all. Notice the miracle of life. Dancing on graves will become the new normal.

It Is Time…

Reflecting on the past several months and I have realized a few things. What has come to the surface during quarantine and “reopening” has revealed what is deep in our hearts. Things we’ve tried to hide or didn’t realize were there have been sifted.

We have seen darkness exposed. It was always there. I often have wondered if it’s been by choice not to acknowledge it or if blind eyes simply have been opened recently. Many of us didn’t realize we had idolized government, our routines, entertainment, the busy and our jobs. Others have had to face the reality that they didn’t really trust Jesus all that much as worry consumed them.

But there have been a huge group who have peacefully embraced each day and chosen joy knowing Jesus would come through for them. A huge group revealed the beauty of the church as they reached neighbors and those who’ve never stepped foot in church. When the building was requested to be closed an entire group didn’t let that stop them from praise and worship. The awakening of hearts finally collided in our neighborhoods and families slowed long enough to come together again, unified.

Perhaps the gifts given during this time were ones that reminded us that church wasn’t a building but of people? People who were intended to disciple others instead of leaving it to church leaders only. People who began to see their neighbors again, their family again… People who needed a nudge out of normalcy in order for Christ to refine the parts of them that had become too comfortable sitting in the pew, territorial of it and selfish. Perhaps the greatest gift we have received has been the threat of our normal being stripped away. It has caused us to open our eyes out of slumber and look to see the need around us and within us for Jesus.

Our hearts should burn for Him. Our hearts should burn to see no one perish. Our hearts should burn for justice and love to permeate our homes, neighborhoods, cities, states and nation’s. Our hearts should burn for unity where our focus and words no longer cause dissension and turmoil for one another. What we are seeing from closed doors, states, over-sexualization of children, violence in the streets, hatred for our brothers and sisters, are all coals for revival. The more it surfaces and exposes itself, those coals burn hotter until everything is aflame.

What is coming is far greater than we can imagine. Hope for everyone. The devil has shown us his hand. There is an army rising and growing and getting stronger each day to confront the darkness and see light, life, hope and unity come again into every place. Jesus in our homes where reconciliation and miracles take place which spill over onto our neighbors, our streets and impossible situations. Jesus in our justice system restoring the justice that corruption and sin took away from kids, parents, police officers and every human being unjustly treated. We’ve limited our voices to only black and white causing a wider divide. Jesus conquered that divide.

A gentle, peaceful uprising is occuring that cannot be stopped. The coals are burning hotter.

What needs to burn away and what needs to be refined for the holy, pure, and loving fire to come and heal each of us?

Revival has begun. Will you let it consume you  and restore you or will you let division and death lead you instead? It is time to choose life.

Chosen Book Giveaway!

To be entered to win a copy of this book please leave a comment


I have enjoyed having the privilege to read and review this beautiful book for those on the journey of motherhood. Currently I am not pregnant but I enjoyed the hidden gems and the truths throughout the pages. Katherine Newsom paints a beautiful picture full of life and strength on every page. Pregnancy, human life in the womb and labor are often looked down upon in our culture. There is also often fear around childbirth itself. Katherine does an excellent job communicating the beautiful truths of childbirth and how we were designed and chosen to bring forth life and to do so without fear. ⁣

What I enjoyed the most was the Biblical thread throughout the book. Birth and the Bible are not focused on in depth. Most preachers or teachers will not even bring it up. It was fascinating to make these correlations as Katherine wove in God’s truth from His word.⁣

For those that enjoy a chance to write notes or reflections there is a journal page at the end of each chapter. What I enjoyed was that this was a book that provided hope for my own journey as well as helped provide some reconciliation of my miscarriage. The grief chapter addresses loss in many forms. No matter your loss, it does not mean you and your child were not any less chosen.⁣

Katherine makes it clear in remarkable ways how each of us are chosen. We are chosen to be life givers. We are chosen to steward life, live life and see God’s hand in the beautiful formation of a human being from conception to birth. ⁣

Momma, you are strong. ⁣

You are strong to grow a baby and birth it. Momma, you are strong amidst loss and baby birthing too soon. Momma, you are chosen no matter what part of this journey you are on. ⁣

Enjoy The Views

Do you ever feel lost, dazed, and always behind?

Lately I have felt all these things not because of poor choices but because I am living my best life. Loving my family well is my first priority.  I ask God daily for wisdom, insight and help. He has blessed us far beyond comprehension at this point.

Recently, I haven’t had time or the thought process to get my jumbled words out onto paper. I have had so many thoughts recently. Thoughts about human trafficking, the church, abuse, how Jesus heals, love, rest as a weapon and so much more. These thoughts are all wound up in my head like messy yarn. Instead of writing I see the beautiful faces of those I love and they have needed me more. When I begin one thing I am needed for someone else and I forget to finish what I began. If you are around when this happens please don’t take it personal. I am truly doing my best here to keep up with those that need me.

I often struggle with not being able to do everything I set my heart to get done. I have missed some writing deadlines, none that were required of me, but I set a personal goal to submit guest posts once a month. I found myself getting frustrated at myself for not being able to complete these submissions despite the drastic life changes my husband and I have had recently.

Have you ever been hard on yourself despite circumstances being far beyond your control? Why are we so hard on ourselves over things that don’t matter?

Once I realized how hard I was being on myself I chose to put my phone down, except to take photos, and enjoy the view. Whether it was hearing giggles and seeing smiling faces or providing tissues for tear streaked cheeks with heartache coming to the surface, I chose to be fully present in it all. I suppose I have been attempting to truly live this way since February but I hadn’t realized how much of our busy and performance based culture was imbedded into my DNA.

I have had to say, “no” more than I can count and take rain checks more often recently to ensure that I am fully present and living in obedience. This has also meant that goals have been slowed, not stopped, and life filled with other foreign things during a time unknown to us all. If I do not take the time to choose wisely I will miss it. What will I miss? I will miss those moments where those in my life need me and want to be the center of my world in that moment. I will miss the laughter and the hugs. I will miss the epic stories. I will miss the hiking trails and the messy faces, the scraped knees that need bandaging and my name being called in a sweet voice. I will miss the losses and the incredible victories.

I will miss the views.

The views that are beautiful beyond words and take your breathe away. The type of views you have prayed your entire life for and are struggling to soak in because it seems so surreal that finally you are living it!

Each of us must soak these views in because they will pass like a vapor in the wind too soon.

If you are struggling today to enjoy your view take a nice deep breathe in, exhale slowly and realize that this won’t last. You will miss some precious moments because they come and go in a blink of an eye. Give yourself grace as each day passes and a new one begins. Goals and dreams are waiting but those that need you won’t always be there like they are today.

Let each of us put down our phone, keep our wind blown hair and enjoy the views.

Chosen

Today I felt like this might speak to someone who needs to hear this truth. Katherine Newsom is a new friend whose book, Chosen: Birth + Faith Through A Doula Lens, has blessed me greatly. It is set to release this Tuesday, July 28th. It can be purchased on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles and Target.

As women, each of us are in different stages. Some of us are on our first pregnancy journey or on the third, 5th or more. Some of us are childless, having experienced the pain of childbirth too soon and a great loss. Others may not even be ready for the journey towards baby and growing a family.

Yet, each of us are chosen. What a beautiful truth that unites us!

If you have experienced grief from a loss of your child remember that does not make you any less of a Mother. Your child is important and worth celebrating no matter the length of time you had together. My Michael is up in Heaven enjoying building sand castles and rolling down hills full of lush grass. Perhaps some of your kids that have crossed the Heaven journey are joining him? Can you not imagine the giggles and squeals of pure joy? I want to live my life like that despite the loss.

Whether you’ve lost a child or not, this darling gift book is full of gems for any stage you’re blessed to behold and walk. Each of us are chosen. Your value exceeds anything you’ve done or been through.

Order by clicking here: Chosen: Birth + Faith Through A Doula Lens

Heart Somersaults

I saw my paint brushes drying next to my coffee station the other day and felt pure joy! The simple things in life have given my heart somersaults. The recent months have brought about extreme changes. There is a stretching period where life attempts to find a balance.

Laughter has filled silent halls, bouncing from one wall to the next. Loneliness has left. Healing drips from Heaven.

This is life despite the challenges, the pain and the ache. Beauty intertwines like vines amidst the mess as tears fall and laughter fills deep bellies. Nothing can stop what God has begun. He brings us freedom and victory so that we no longer have to live life bound up and stuck in the mud.

Each day presents new opportunities for adventures and new memories to cover the painful ones.

Painting frees my creative soul as colors dance on the canvas. Jesus comes to join me and I get to enjoy His peace as I sip on fresh brewed coffee. These times with my brush and paints are far less than before but I love and cherish the moments I do get to have.

As life unfolds continuously I am grateful. I am grateful for a God who provides miraculously. When I say that He pays my paycheck I am not joking. Without His provision the past 4-5 months we wouldn’t have made it. Each month grows a deeper trust as God always comes through with supernatural provision from surprising sources. I have learned to celebrate and find joy in obedience and faithfulness knowing He is always there to take care of us.

Dear Reader, what is it that you need? What are some things you do that bring you joy and give your heart somersaults?

Thank you for being here and supporting my journey!


To Know

It can be easy to get caught up in life and feel the need to know everything. Somehow we tend to elevate ourselves on dangerously higher pedestals within our own minds to meet these grand expectations of knowing how to live life without flaw. At least for me personally I have had to ask the Lord for forgiveness for this way of living because this expectation of myself and the pride behind thinking I know how to meet all of what life brings within my own strength, separates me from Him. I become free and less weighted down when I can say, “I do not know how to do this. Can you help guide me?”

There is so much beauty in humility.

“To know” the ins and outs of life often comes with acknowledging that we are not the experts. We must come and ask God for strength and wisdom. Too many times we believe the lie that we have to know all the answers and know how to do all the things. It is not a bad thing to not know. In fact, not knowing is the perfect set up to know God. As we allow Him into everything we do in life, we can rest assured that He knows and we do not. A load can be lifted off of our shoulders.

If you are struggling to know how to parent, love your spouse, work, and navigate these crazy times full of masks and heated opinions, you are perfectly set up for a great victory. Because God knows and understands our weaknesses He is ready and waiting to help.

Humble living invites His loving support and strong yet gentle hands to guide us. If you feel frazzled today, you are in the perfect position for God to come and bring peace. It is okay to not know and it is okay to not feel okay. God knows and Has the best solutions.

He is ready and waiting. Are you?

The Thrill Of Hope

It is beautiful to hope through impossible odds. Life is full of daunting circumstances and things often are out of our control. We can either settle with the grey and dismal normal or we can choose hope.

One of my strategies in life has been to choose hope everyday. Making this choice has been better than any anti-depressant. Hope confronts impossibilities and helps add oxygen into deflated lungs pressed heavy by trials. Hope is thrilling!

Hope helps us look through a different lens. Praise is readily on the tip of our tongues. Some may call us crazy and then look at us in awe as the impossible actually takes place!

Choose a different path. Turn off media outlets, set down your phone and go make memories with your loved ones. Pray big, bold prayers that ask God for the impossible and greatest things to take place. He will help walk you through anything you may face.

Hope big today and be swept up in, “the thrill of hope”!

Praise



I have been silent for longer than I intended. Words, so many words have tumbled through my mind like clothes in a dryer. Too many words have remained stuck inside. Pain deep in my gut for people I love; my friends, my family and my country. At times even pain over things within myself has come to the surface. ⁣

Amidst this time where the true nature of our world has surfaced… Where we finally see how crazy and bonkers things have been below the surface, hidden deep inside, revealing too many dark secrets from the depravity of sin… So much beauty has come forth. Healing is painful yet so breathtakingly beautiful. I would like to think that some of the turmoil we see is a nation beginning to heal. ⁣

It has been hope that has carried me during this time. I have learned that it is okay to not have the right words. It is good to have moments of silent reflection followed by breaking out in worship, because words and the feelings behind them become pointless when the nation is up in flames and no one wants to listen. ⁣

Worship. ⁣

Praise.⁣

When words fail you. When pain runs deep. When healing needs to take place. When you need a miracle. When you stand before a giant. When everything is going up in flames. When life is good. When laughter comes from deep wells. ⁣

Praise Him.⁣

Worship through it all.⁣