Silence



This weekend we celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus. In between that was silence. Tension filled the air as Jesus’ followers awoke with devastation unable to comprehend His death.⁣

But God in great anticipation had a countdown going. He knew that a mighty conquering was occuring and victory was running towards humanity. While the people waited having only begun to grieve, to mourn the son of both God and man, silence settled as Jesus was about to breathe again. Even though Jesus had told them what was to come they still did not understand it. They knew the Messiah had come but nothing occured the way they had thought it would. ⁣

We are all in waiting right now. In our homes, on our own, we are waiting for our lives to go back to normal. But perhaps our lives are supposed to be resurrected? Maybe our lives are supposed to change to become better than before?⁣

There is beauty in the waiting. We may not know what it is going to look like but because Jesus defeated death and rose from that grave, we can be certain that what is waiting is full of victory, hope, joy! Could we view the silence, the waiting, a beautiful part of our journey to a great comeback where life is restored the way it should be and reconciliation has occured; where our pain has been healed and each of us has returned to love?⁣

Don’t you long for more? ⁣

The more is on the other side of the waiting, the silence, if one is willing to embrace the risen Savior. He has been waiting with great anticipation and joy for the day of resurrection… In your life. ⁣

Aren’t you ready? ⁣

It is time to stop ignoring the gentle whisper of love that will bring you freedom and heal your pain, Dear world. ⁣

You are loved more than you know.⁣



Vital Choices

“The thoughts and decisions in your life can either control you or set you free.”

I have been missing my Mom lately because I wish I could talk with her about everything going on in my life right now. I know what she would say,

“Kara, you have a lot going on. It is good to cry. Do not be so hard on yourself. Please rest.”

Since she passed I often tell myself similar phrases as a reminder to give myself some grace and choose hope each day.

It is vital for me to choose hope and joy. If I allow my thoughts to focus inward and downward it could have the potential to sabatoge my life. When I choose hope, the impossibilities seem less daunting and I am trusting God to take care of every detail. Often I have found that I have had to fight for hope and learn this as a discipline.

I have chosen that despite the circumstances, I will live with faith for promises and find ways to laugh. Why? Because my God is good. He wants the best for me. He wants me healthy, healed and whole. Jesus did not come for me to be hopeless and downcast.

His joy is my strength!

In joy there is room for increasing hope. Because of this I enjoy life even when I may feel like weeping or when I would much rather stay in bed with a frown.

My decision to stay upbeat, positive and hopeful is a decision based on how much I know God loves me and is for me. Since I know this about Him I also know that He loves my family more than I do. I know He already stormed the gates of hell and made a way for each of us. He will never stop storming those gates! And if He will never stop storming those gates then I know that I can wait a little bit longer for victory while keeping a smile on my face. I can allow laughter to fill my belly while telling the devil to shut up anytime I may be downcast.

No matter what, God is still sovereign. God is still good. Despite anything I may be going through He never changes. He cannot be defeated. He is for me. He is for you.

His love is vast and deep. Jesus proved it.

This, my friends, is why I choose hope and joy. Life may feel a bit surreal but my God is real and mighty. Nothing can change the truth of who He is and what He is doing for those that love Him!

(Laughing at this family photo ⬇)

The Victory Life

What is your focus on?

Those that study the mind share scientific proof that whatever you focus on becomes a part of you. Whatever it is can become bigger and bigger until it is all consuming (whether true or false). Essentially what you dwell on, read, watch & post has become apart of your wiring in your brain. Whatever you spend the most time focusing on will generally dictate your responses or reactions to life.

When life gets difficult it can be easy for many to focus on those difficulties. Some of us hide. Others get busier. Or we get angry, sad and melancholy.

A victors life chooses to focus on victories rather than defeats or the potential of them. It does not matter what is going on in life, if you focus on joy and victory because of Jesus, there is nothing that can touch you. I am not saying that things won’t discourage you or tire you. But what I am saying is that you have what it takes to remain steadfast, to persevere and to praise God through it all.

No matter what you may be facing today pick up your joy. Pick up your hope.

God is for you.

Victory is yours because of Him.

Joy is your choice and that is something that can never be taken from you.

Choose the victory life.

Stand Your Ground

Lately I keep being reminded to stand my ground. Every time I cannot help but think of The Princess Bride. You know the scene I am talking about:

“I am the dread pirate Roberts. There will be no survivors…”

Only it sounds like, ” I am the dwread piwate woberts.” I smile every time I think about it which is probably one of the reasons why I keep being reminded to stand my ground.

There is much to be said when you can laugh in the face of your circumstances because you know victory is on the horizon. Victory does not come without a battle. Opposition will come and there will be moments that stretch you and break your heart.

Stand your ground.

When the darkness surrounds you and the ones that you love, it can get easy to lose focus. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Do not look to the right or to the left. The enemy is a liar and a cheat. He takes cheap shots. He does not play by the rules.

But God is bigger, grander, and the ultimate judge.

God has already had the final word.

Pregnant With (full of) Hope!

There has been an immense amount of love and support since I shared my last blog post. Thank you!

I wanted to video a message of what has been on my heart recently. I am so full of hope. I know how good, how faithful and how mighty my God is. He is not limited by test results, bad news, diseases, addictions, or any mountain in the path of life. Rocks are thrown into the depths of the sea. Mountains crumble. He is mighty. He is faithful.

It is because of what He has done already and who He is that I know He loves and cares for me. No matter what happens He is what matters the most. He is my hope. He is my joy. He is the reason I am pregnant with hope!

Celebrate Michael

Let me introduce you to someone so precious. He was a miracle. He was a gift.

The first part of November I was having strange symptoms. At first I thought my body was responding to an amazing but extremely busy season of ministry & was protesting. I had also been battling colds for a month & a half. There was a strange fatigue that had settled in my body. So time went on & I remember feeling “pregnant”. I cast it aside as wishful thinking.

It had been impossible for me to conceive. I had already had a previous miscarriage that did not last past the first month early on in our marriage in 2011. I had already grieved through not being able to give birth to one of my own flesh. Hope was on the horizon to foster or adopt and continue loving my daughter (SD). I was content. 

In November a pregnancy test confirmed what was once deemed impossible. Our world was turning upside down and landed a bit lopsided in the most precious and beautiful way. 

I told my husband that I was battling against fear and could only believe life. I felt like I had already lost too much to handle any alternative. Every day I placed my hands on my belly and declared life. I prayed for every organ, for every tissue formation, ten toes, ten fingers and that all would go smoothly. At night I wept with thankfulness because of this beautiful miracle. I fell asleep embracing my baby and told him how much he was loved. The journey felt like a dream.

We had talked in detail about how we wanted to tell the good news and when to do it. Even though I wanted to shout and celebrate his life right away we both agreed that telling family in person would be the best way. 

(Week 6 pregnancy picture)

Week 6 went by and I was so sick & tired. I was so happy because it was the only way that I knew that he was doing well. Week 7, and 8 slipped by without any issues. By week 9 I was able to get into the Dr. and all my test results came back without any signs of complications. He was really coming! He was really real! By this time my belly was starting to grow & I felt pregnant for real for the first time.

Week 10 was the week we were going to tell our daughter & begin the journey to family for Christmas. Our daughter was beyond excited. She was already making plans. She was the best big sister ever!

The next day she could hardly contain her excitement as we were going to tell my husbands parents. Tears, smiles, hugs and congratulations were in order after breaking the good news. But a couple hours later I started to have slight cramping and instead of getting better my heart & body went on a journey I never thought it could handle.

The details into that night are too much for me to write out. The ER visit was horrific. What I was going through was unstoppable medically speaking and those working there did not acknowledge my sons life. With that perspective I know why I was treated as if what I was going through was not a big deal. 

Instead of a proper burial my baby is swimming in sewage because he was flushed down the toilet in the ER. Losing life and not being able to control what your body is doing is horrifying. 

Because of our miracle I have this need for people to know our son. He was important. He was not a blob of cells. His heart beat like yours and like mine. God still did a miracle in my body to be able to conceive and carry for 10 weeks. Those weeks I will cherish for the rest of my life. Our son helped my faith to grow. Impossible is fading out of my life. God is good and He never changes. 

Please meet our son. 

(Drawing by artist Brynna Hosszu)

His name is Michael which means, “Who is like God?”. It is a name passed down in my husbands family. When I give birth to my rainbow baby, Michael will be their middle name just like his Daddy and in remembrance of his big brother who prepared the way.

Michael you were and continue to be loved. It was a fun adventure while we had you with us, tiny as you were! 

Here are some of my favorite memories with you:

(We didn’t even know that we were a family of 4 during these fun moments in October)

(My first big ministry event knowing you were growing in my belly. It was a miracle I didn’t faint on stage due to sickness & fatigue. I remember telling you, “Okay baby, time to go worship God together! Let’s slay the enemy!” Photo Cred: Austin Groskopf, @agroskopf33)

(Family Thanksgiving 2017 two weeks early)

(Together for Thanksgiving at Long Beach)

(Our last full day together at Heritage Kids Family Christmas)

(This was our announcement photo. I bought 4 large stockings expecting your first Christmas with us would have been in 2018)

Enjoy time with Jesus & with my Mom sweet child. 

We love you Michael!