Letting Go…

Letting go is not always easy but it is a crucial part of life. We must let go of certain things in our lives that hinder us, hurt us or slow us down. Sometimes we let go of a good thing in order to be ready to receive something better.⁣

If anything is causing unhealthy thought patterns, let it go. If relationships are toxic, let those go. If one season of life is ending, let it go so you can embrace the new one. ⁣

Recently, I have felt like I have been on a borderline with each foot in separate lands. It has caused confusion and I have felt unsettled. When I realized this, I knew I had to let go of what I was holding onto in one land and completely step foot into the new land. Not everyone will understand my actions. I have been severely misunderstood by many. The comforting part about this process has been understanding that God knows me. As long as I am living by His standards then that is what matters the most. ⁣

The beautiful process of letting go enables you to hold more joy. There is a freedom that comes when you move from pleasing man and instead focus every part of your being into pleasing God. ⁣

I must continue to listen and obey.⁣

He is joy! ⁣

As Holidays come and 2020 ends, holding more joy is a great gift. It doesn’t matter what may be going on or what may not be happening because He truly is all that is needed. He fulfills every longing and fills the emptiness or the lack. ⁣

He is good. ⁣

I plan on continuing to hold more joy into 2021. ⁣

Join me. Let go. Hold more joy instead.

Borrowing His Eyes

Messy hair days, rolling out of bed to start the day. The devil must pay today. My focus has been payback to the devil because it is the only way I can walk through mud and muck in a culture that enables, fosters and excuses awful abuse. Exhaustion can often set in because this holy work is 24/7. I often have to believe that my enemies are more tired than I am. When I look from my perspective it is so dark and the hurt is too much.

But Jesus!

When I set my feet down on the ground and take His perspective, borrowing His eyes, I see those I love, free and full of joy. The pain is a tool to their healing, molding, cleansing and strengthening them as they become a weapon against the very forces that tried to destroy them.

Early mornings turn into a fuse to build a holy fire  that cannot be quenched. Coffee becomes a sweet blessing. Time together is precious whether it’s 5 hours or 5 minutes. There are so many things to be grateful for during this season. Give yourself permission to cry if you need, grieve and then release it. But always come back around full-circle to the truth that you are loved deeply and God fights for you. Don’t forget who He has given to you to bless your life. They are the treasure amidst the storm.

Who can you thank or shout-out today? Who has walked with you through thick and thin?

My husband is my greatest partner as we destroy what the darkness has attempted to do in our family. He deserves a big shout-out today. Thank you Husband!

Yesterday, Today And Tomorrow

I have seen much hatred, fear, disappointment, shame and slandering going on around these elections. What’s disturbing to me is that what is being shared has little to do with faith or portraying the faithfulness of God. I’d like to challenge those of us who believe in God and follow His word: What message are we sending online and to those in our circles? How are we talking about the leaders voted in or awaiting final results? Are we living by faith or fear? Is love readily on our lips and in our actions?

Too much is being placed on men and women. How can one be disappointed in a people when we have done nothing to reach those people for Christ? We cannot hold others outside our circles to the same standard, especially when we sit and don’t live out our faith the way we are called.

We must look to God and seek His forgiveness for our lack of faith, our own sins, our poor attitudes, and our inaction towards the lost. Perhaps we are seeing the fruit of our labor or the lack of it? I don’t want to place blame on any one person or group of people because it’s complicated and not solely on one group.

Instead, I’ve been asking God to reveal anything in me that needs to change. Instead, I’ve been asking for forgiveness for my inaction and moments of delayed obedience. It breaks my heart that I have had a role in what I am seeing and living in now.

But things CAN change. There is an undercurrent, something hidden amidst all of the mess that is occuring. It is good and miraculous! I know this because God does not change. He is faithful! He is hearing our cries for mercy on our nation. He has turned His face toward us and is listening, desiring to bless us again.

Wait.

Listen and obey.

Wait with great anticipation and excitement.

Listen and obey.

God does not change. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

God Sends Yellow Birds

Yesterday I rested for a moment. I looked out my large bedroom window and saw so much life. The beauty from our apple tree, birds flying about and butterflies fluttering amidst other plants, revealed so much abundance. As I breathed deep, my eye caught some movement in a neighboring tree. I saw the color yellow and thought at first that it was only fall leaves. As I focused further there were three yellow birds. Yellow is a significant color for me. It holds memories and special messages I carry deep within me.

Seeing those three yellow birds made me feel so special in that moment. I knew God was reminding me that I mattered big to Him and that He was my promise keeper.

The small things matter big!

Yes, even the small negative things hold just as much power to overtake the good. But we must not let that occur. It does only take a little bit of yeast to take over the bread. In that moment of rest I was battling some bad that had occurred. My heart ached over the depravity of the situation. But God’s goodness came and filled up the deep aching cavern within me.

When life doesn’t make sense God sends yellow birds to remind you that He will never fail you.

If you are waiting for promises, look for the small things. It is often in those small details where it will matter big to you. A sunset. A flower. Birds. A hug. None of these things were intended for us to just pass by.

Pay attention. The small things matter big.

In Awe As Dreams Come True!

I have to admit something to you. I am an optimist. In some cases others may consider me a little too positive. I mean, have you looked at the world lately? And my response is always, “Yes, and I look through my Creators eyes and see hope everywhere I look.”

Most people who see me on a given day would never know what I’ve lived through and overcome throughout my life. No one would know that 5 months ago I could hardly get out of bed because my body had crashed but I got up and loved my family anyway. We were also enduring some incredible hardships and injustices that will never make sense.

Each day I am faced with a choice in the good and the not so good, how I am going to live my life.

I choose hope. I choose joy. I choose to live my life to the fullest measure, loving God and others with everything within me. I choose to defeat the enemy and teach my small family the same.

Recently doors have opened to some huge, HUGE dreams I have had since middle school. It feels like God has taken good care of my dreams and has prepared me for this year… The year of Covid and civil unrest. Amidst hardship and injustices, God is giving me my dreams. I feel so blessed! Words often fail me as I live in awe. I am speechless as I look at how God has provided supernaturally, performed the impossible (someday we can share these details) and how He has established my family as we seek more growth.

My heart resonates with Isaiah 54:1-3,

“Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord . “Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left, and your offspring will possess the nations and will people the desolate cities.”

I have often gone to this passage after years of being barren. What God has done in the past several years has been far greater than a full womb could have given me. Children do not heal souls or solve issues in life. Children are a gift and like arrows in a quiver (Psalm 127:4) but they are not the Restorer, Savior or Healer, God is.

There are moments I wonder if I will awaken from a dream but I know God has already awakened me. Hardships come every day. Healing and justice is a daily battle. But God’s goodness is beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Words do no justice to explain, or to reveal His goodness. He is present in everything I do because I desire Him in everything I do. He gives such good gifts. His healing lasts forever. His joy doesn’t spoil. In fact, His joy remains steadfast just as His love does throughout any trial, mountain or storm. He is amazing!

As I stand looking over mountains and valleys, I see Him. There are more hard times coming and difficult, gut wrenching giants to face, but I know He will lead me to the promised land.

I cannot wait for some big announcements coming soon that I will get to share with each of you, my faithful readers and friends. My desire is that when I can share these dreams as they unfold, that it will reignite the hope within you to never give up. God is in the hope business. He is the best at taking those hardships and pressures to bring forth a beautiful, priceless pearl. He wrote specific dreams and passions into your DNA.

Trust Him.

Lean into His chest and let Him revive the things of old, as He was dreaming of YOU while He formed YOU in your Mother’s womb. It brings Him great joy to walk you into your dreams.

These dreams come with surrender and sacrifice because these are God sized dreams, not human failing ones. You will find that as you move closer to Him, He will move closer to you. My prayer is that we would desire Him more than anything. It is in His presence where every solution to every human need and desire lies. The dreams we long for are found in Him.

Continue reading “In Awe As Dreams Come True!”

He Is For You

Without hesitation He is for you. Jesus is ready and willing to step into your life and situation and meet it head on.

On Sunday my husband and SD surrounded me and asked Jesus to heal my arm. I had injured it a couple weeks prior and due to continued use I had been in excruciating pain off and on for a few days. There was no immediate relief in the moment but I thanked God anyway, believing that it would get better in time.

Church has been in our home for quite some time now. Even before the quarantine I had been having church at home during my sabbatical.  Church this Sunday was particularly special. To have my family surround me in the living room was very precious. It has brought us together in multiple ways; beautiful ways.

One gift of quarantine has been the gift of undoing the busy and being able to slow down as we focus more attention to one another. It should always be this way.

I went about the rest of the day, baking, prepping meals and playing games. It did not dawn on me for several hours that I was doing things WITHOUT pain in my arm or my hand. Finally, it hit me! I was pain free and was able to hold a cup in my hand without it falling out of my hand. Praise Jesus! He had healed me and my family were the vessels. Together we celebrated and it caused dialogue for the next day. My SD would ask if the pain was still gone and I’d lift up my coffee cup proudly and declare, “YES”… Leading up to my healing it hurt to even drink coffee with that hand.

As I was thanking the Lord on my own time the thought occured to me how quick God is to join us in every aspect of our lives if we let Him. God never hesitates. Without hesitation He is quick to help, to heal, to forgive, to bless, and to join us wherever we are.

Without hesitation He comes.

Break Free



I was going through a box full of memories and came across this photo. I don’t remember how old I was but I felt feelings of sadness as I looked. You may ask, why? ⁣

When I look at this photo I see a girl who lived life fiercely. I wish I had been kinder to her growing up. I wish I had known that it was okay to not be perfect. As you can tell in this photo one sleeve is puffy while the other is not. This is most likely due to me playing too rough in a dress. I wish I could’ve told her that it was okay to be all girly and school the boys on the playground… That the rips and tears of the lace and ruffles was only a sign of joy and freedom. You can be a girl and still be strong and fierce and even a bit muddy and sweaty.⁣

I wish I could’ve told her that it was okay for people to see her cry… It was okay that she didn’t know how to protect herself but that she had a great, big God that looked out for her and saved her from unimaginable horrors unknown at the time. I wish I could tell her that she had every power and authority given to her over fear and that the night had no hold on her.⁣

But this all is looking back. I have had to walk a path of forgiveness unknown to many and the most healing act was forgiving myself… Loving the girl I was and the woman I have become.⁣

God has done mighty things within me. He has helped me break free from fear, sorrow and chains intended to shut me up and keep me down. ⁣

What do you need to break free from?⁣

Empowered Focus



It is true that what one dwells on can consume them.⁣

I was reminded this morning to dwell on the good, especially the truths of God after hearing a very negative news report. The report hit me in the gut and left me feeling very heavy. It felt like it was an attempt to punch out a bit of hope that I’ve been clinging onto. Instantly when I recognized this occuring I began to remind myself of the truth of God’s goodness. I also decided not to watch or read any news the rest of today.⁣

What we dwell on matters. We can choose to have empowered focus, which leads us to live from hope while raising it’s banner for others to join us. We can choose joy despite our circumstances. Does it take grit? Yes, I think it does. Does it take effort? Yes. We cannot afford to be lazy right now. We must rally together and raise our hope banners high. ⁣

We need each other. Each of us are being secluded but that does not mean that we are alone. In fact, any attempt to segregate, tear apart or cause dissension right now can bring us together. It is my belief that our strength is only growing because of this. ⁣

Empower your focus by dwelling on the good. ⁣

What is one good thing that occured today? How can I pray for you and your family?⁣

You are not alone.⁣

My Favorite Place



Today I needed a change of scenery. I spent some great time in my art studio. When I begin to create in this space I often lose track of time. I get swept up in colors, ideas and feel so alive. ⁣

Joyful worship. When I create I feel close to God. This place becomes a sacred space. New breath enters my lungs. I can hear the birds chirping. Laughter drifts through the window from the neighbor kids. I step into the sun as I add a burst of blue paint. ⁣

Joy spills from my soul onto this canvas. ⁣

I am so grateful for this time. Even though life has stalled and the time frame is uncertain when it will return to “normal”, I have come to a place of acceptance. I accept this slowed pace and the closeness of my family. The time spent in the depths of God’s heart is irreplaceable, where I have no time-frame and no place to go. I can sit with Him all day if I want to or I can paint with Him. This is the new normal that I don’t want to change.⁣

What a gift it is. This is what I choose to focus on… God’s goodness and more of Him in my life. ❤️⁣

Your Suffering Is Over

“You’re suffering is over” (Mark 5:34 NLT)

What would you do to hear those words?

That phrase stood out to me during my daily Bible reading. It penetrated my soul. None of us are immune to pain and suffering. Most of us would have a story to tell. Many of us hide the pain and suffering we are currently enduring. We have become good at cramming it deep inside while we force a smile and tell people we are doing “fine”.

I have become fed up with suffering! I am tired of it. I am tired of seeing it in those I love. I want to confront it. I want to destroy it.

My heart cries for justice!

How would your life change if you believed God could and would end your suffering and the suffering of those you love?

If your answer is still, “He wouldn’t do that for me” then I want to challenge you. What is it that is making you believe he won’t do it? The God I know loves you so much that it is not in his nature to not love. God sent Jesus to end your suffering. He took your suffering. He defeated your suffering.

Yes, there are a lot of things that occur that are unjust and cause our hearts to be ripped in two… but God! But God is for you. He is willing to stop everything like he did in that crowd and recognize your hand reaching out to touch the hem of his garment. He is willing to heal everything that has caused your suffering. He is willing to confront injustice. He slows down, even stops and joins you today when you welcome him.

But you may ask, “why have I had to suffer” or “why have I not seen justice yet”? The answer to these questions are complex and often include an interweaving of many things. Unfortunately our world is full of corruption, and sin causes a rippling affect on everyone whether it was because of your own doing or from others. Man’s ways are unwise. Man’s ways are prideful and arrogant. Laws without God do little to help end justice. Healing is also a process, sometimes taking us on a journey of complete wholeness and holiness rather than an instant quick fix that could leave our soul suffering.

This is not to say healing cannot be instant because Jesus said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over” (Mark 5:34 NLT) That was an instant healing! From that day forward her entire life was radically transformed! That is my good God revealing a love unfathomable and never-ending. That is my God bringing justice!

“You’re suffering is over”.

What would your life look like with that one simple yet profound change?

May it be!