Sticky Words

There is so much power in our words.

The way we talk to others, about others and even about ourselves will often reveal the truth in our hearts. The words we speak can bless or curse our lives and those in it.

Words stick to us. Words will dig deep into our souls. If it is a word of truth, a beautiful tree full of life can grow.

If words are full of viscious lies, the damage is severe and where life was once full, vibrant and strong, words full of lies and hatred can beat down the beautiful life until only a scarred, burnt, black tree remains. Some of us feel this way about ourselves or we are desperately trying to speak life and beauty back into those torn down by the stinging, cursing tongue.

But Jesus.

Jesus is truth. He is life. He is love.

When Jesus enters the canvas of our lives His words transform, heal and restore. The scars heal, new growth breaks forth and a hint of green begins to break forth past the blackness that overtook the beauty. Branches grow back full of leaves, and roots grow deeper in the truth.

Restoration can occur. Healing can take place.

Speak life. Choose a better way. Value everyone, even those in the womb. Will your tongue reveal a darkness within or light and love? Are you choosing to value life and love deeply? Look around you and you will see.

Words can build up or tear down world’s.

Which one will you choose?

God Sends Yellow Birds

Yesterday I rested for a moment. I looked out my large bedroom window and saw so much life. The beauty from our apple tree, birds flying about and butterflies fluttering amidst other plants, revealed so much abundance. As I breathed deep, my eye caught some movement in a neighboring tree. I saw the color yellow and thought at first that it was only fall leaves. As I focused further there were three yellow birds. Yellow is a significant color for me. It holds memories and special messages I carry deep within me.

Seeing those three yellow birds made me feel so special in that moment. I knew God was reminding me that I mattered big to Him and that He was my promise keeper.

The small things matter big!

Yes, even the small negative things hold just as much power to overtake the good. But we must not let that occur. It does only take a little bit of yeast to take over the bread. In that moment of rest I was battling some bad that had occurred. My heart ached over the depravity of the situation. But God’s goodness came and filled up the deep aching cavern within me.

When life doesn’t make sense God sends yellow birds to remind you that He will never fail you.

If you are waiting for promises, look for the small things. It is often in those small details where it will matter big to you. A sunset. A flower. Birds. A hug. None of these things were intended for us to just pass by.

Pay attention. The small things matter big.

Rest Amidst The Mess

What you don’t see is two piles of laundry waiting for me to my right!

Here is a view into my messy, imperfect yet beautiful life! My bedroom has become work place, devotional space, counseling room, writing space, love room, and laundry room. It is a safe and sacred place. I often weep in here behind closed doors and I laugh endlessly.

Life has a funny way of making one pliable in all of the seasons. This season is no different. My house is full and noise travels down every hall and into each room. Our table is messy and vacuuming has to wait until classes are complete. Things are out of place, the lamp shade gets knocked cockeyed and I let it be.⁣

My dog here reminds me to slow down. Others have encouraged me to let things be. God in His goodness speaks grace upon grace as each day I think I should do it all. He tells me He can but I cannot.

So, here I am drinking my afternoon decaf with a pile of things to do while joining my dog who naps effortlessly. ⁣

I sip and savor my Kafiex pour-over and take a moment to pause. Everyone needs a break.⁣

What do you do to stop and rest amidst your mess?⁣

In Awe As Dreams Come True!

I have to admit something to you. I am an optimist. In some cases others may consider me a little too positive. I mean, have you looked at the world lately? And my response is always, “Yes, and I look through my Creators eyes and see hope everywhere I look.”

Most people who see me on a given day would never know what I’ve lived through and overcome throughout my life. No one would know that 5 months ago I could hardly get out of bed because my body had crashed but I got up and loved my family anyway. We were also enduring some incredible hardships and injustices that will never make sense.

Each day I am faced with a choice in the good and the not so good, how I am going to live my life.

I choose hope. I choose joy. I choose to live my life to the fullest measure, loving God and others with everything within me. I choose to defeat the enemy and teach my small family the same.

Recently doors have opened to some huge, HUGE dreams I have had since middle school. It feels like God has taken good care of my dreams and has prepared me for this year… The year of Covid and civil unrest. Amidst hardship and injustices, God is giving me my dreams. I feel so blessed! Words often fail me as I live in awe. I am speechless as I look at how God has provided supernaturally, performed the impossible (someday we can share these details) and how He has established my family as we seek more growth.

My heart resonates with Isaiah 54:1-3,

“Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord . “Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left, and your offspring will possess the nations and will people the desolate cities.”

I have often gone to this passage after years of being barren. What God has done in the past several years has been far greater than a full womb could have given me. Children do not heal souls or solve issues in life. Children are a gift and like arrows in a quiver (Psalm 127:4) but they are not the Restorer, Savior or Healer, God is.

There are moments I wonder if I will awaken from a dream but I know God has already awakened me. Hardships come every day. Healing and justice is a daily battle. But God’s goodness is beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Words do no justice to explain, or to reveal His goodness. He is present in everything I do because I desire Him in everything I do. He gives such good gifts. His healing lasts forever. His joy doesn’t spoil. In fact, His joy remains steadfast just as His love does throughout any trial, mountain or storm. He is amazing!

As I stand looking over mountains and valleys, I see Him. There are more hard times coming and difficult, gut wrenching giants to face, but I know He will lead me to the promised land.

I cannot wait for some big announcements coming soon that I will get to share with each of you, my faithful readers and friends. My desire is that when I can share these dreams as they unfold, that it will reignite the hope within you to never give up. God is in the hope business. He is the best at taking those hardships and pressures to bring forth a beautiful, priceless pearl. He wrote specific dreams and passions into your DNA.

Trust Him.

Lean into His chest and let Him revive the things of old, as He was dreaming of YOU while He formed YOU in your Mother’s womb. It brings Him great joy to walk you into your dreams.

These dreams come with surrender and sacrifice because these are God sized dreams, not human failing ones. You will find that as you move closer to Him, He will move closer to you. My prayer is that we would desire Him more than anything. It is in His presence where every solution to every human need and desire lies. The dreams we long for are found in Him.

Continue reading “In Awe As Dreams Come True!”

Getting Caught Up…

I don’t know when things changed. I cannot tell you when it happened. What I do know is that I have forever been changed. My life looks a lot different than I ever thought it would look, and it is better than I imagined.

One day I made a choice to not live offended or full of anxiety and fear. At first it was not easy. It took a lot of discipline and consistency. I had to surrender my flesh and allow Holy Spirit to reign. Each day that I chose this, I moved closer to the feet of Jesus. One day, “it” just happened. Instead of finding myself shrinking back and silent, I was running towards my enemies in a full on attack. I had had enough and it was time for the thieves and liars to be put in their place. Every day I confronted injustices. Boldness grew to a 10ft giant inside my soul.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” – Ephesians 6:12 NLT

I see pain in others and injustices running rampant, and instead of fear I get angry at the abuse and mockery I see. My heart pumps full of love for those hurting. I want to run towards the evil causing the pain! I want to demolish it in its path. It is payback! I’m chasing it. It deserves to go back to hell where it belongs. Boldness grows because I know without a doubt who God is. He is big and mighty and so good. His heart is full of so much love that He designed eternity for us to experience His love every day.

It is His love that has held me steadfast in 2020. I have chosen to get caught up with Jesus rather than the current political climate, culture upheaval and media frenzy. Jesus is always the best decision. He calms storms, provides stability and brings contentment in every circumstance.

Stop sharing the news and begin sharing the Good News. Get caught up with Jesus.

Jesus is the Greatest!

The New Normal

While each of us are seeing summer transition and school begin amidst these strange times, I am so grateful for life. It doesn’t matter what may be going on because God never changes and His plans for us remain. His plans are always good.

Dreams are still coming true!

Some days I do not even know where to begin. Amidst all the pain, changes and transitions His goodness bounces off the walls and envelopes my family. My family! I cannot even grasp my love for them. I have no words for this time. Sweet moments come here and there, enhanced by battles raging back and forth. Forward, back and forward more. What matters is that love overflows in the hearts of my family and laughter fills their bellies. Tear stained eyes will become bright in time just as the sun breaks through after a storm.

My heart has broken in ways I never thought possible these past several months. Depravity continues to become more depraved, sinking lower until I hardly know which way is back out.

But Jesus!

Jesus is so grand and marvelous! He pulls me out of that muck in an instant. Light breaks through the darkest dark and the horrors of the night. He is always there. His presence consumes everything. Today, tomorrow and then by God’s grace, years and years from now, it will be worth it all. He is helping me see His might and strength, as well as His love and gentleness, defeat the graves intended to keep those I love from living.

From the depths of who I am, gratitude flows.

Just wait… Make sure you don’t miss Him through it all. Notice the miracle of life. Dancing on graves will become the new normal.

It Is Time…

Reflecting on the past several months and I have realized a few things. What has come to the surface during quarantine and “reopening” has revealed what is deep in our hearts. Things we’ve tried to hide or didn’t realize were there have been sifted.

We have seen darkness exposed. It was always there. I often have wondered if it’s been by choice not to acknowledge it or if blind eyes simply have been opened recently. Many of us didn’t realize we had idolized government, our routines, entertainment, the busy and our jobs. Others have had to face the reality that they didn’t really trust Jesus all that much as worry consumed them.

But there have been a huge group who have peacefully embraced each day and chosen joy knowing Jesus would come through for them. A huge group revealed the beauty of the church as they reached neighbors and those who’ve never stepped foot in church. When the building was requested to be closed an entire group didn’t let that stop them from praise and worship. The awakening of hearts finally collided in our neighborhoods and families slowed long enough to come together again, unified.

Perhaps the gifts given during this time were ones that reminded us that church wasn’t a building but of people? People who were intended to disciple others instead of leaving it to church leaders only. People who began to see their neighbors again, their family again… People who needed a nudge out of normalcy in order for Christ to refine the parts of them that had become too comfortable sitting in the pew, territorial of it and selfish. Perhaps the greatest gift we have received has been the threat of our normal being stripped away. It has caused us to open our eyes out of slumber and look to see the need around us and within us for Jesus.

Our hearts should burn for Him. Our hearts should burn to see no one perish. Our hearts should burn for justice and love to permeate our homes, neighborhoods, cities, states and nation’s. Our hearts should burn for unity where our focus and words no longer cause dissension and turmoil for one another. What we are seeing from closed doors, states, over-sexualization of children, violence in the streets, hatred for our brothers and sisters, are all coals for revival. The more it surfaces and exposes itself, those coals burn hotter until everything is aflame.

What is coming is far greater than we can imagine. Hope for everyone. The devil has shown us his hand. There is an army rising and growing and getting stronger each day to confront the darkness and see light, life, hope and unity come again into every place. Jesus in our homes where reconciliation and miracles take place which spill over onto our neighbors, our streets and impossible situations. Jesus in our justice system restoring the justice that corruption and sin took away from kids, parents, police officers and every human being unjustly treated. We’ve limited our voices to only black and white causing a wider divide. Jesus conquered that divide.

A gentle, peaceful uprising is occuring that cannot be stopped. The coals are burning hotter.

What needs to burn away and what needs to be refined for the holy, pure, and loving fire to come and heal each of us?

Revival has begun. Will you let it consume you  and restore you or will you let division and death lead you instead? It is time to choose life.

Chosen Book Giveaway!

To be entered to win a copy of this book please leave a comment


I have enjoyed having the privilege to read and review this beautiful book for those on the journey of motherhood. Currently I am not pregnant but I enjoyed the hidden gems and the truths throughout the pages. Katherine Newsom paints a beautiful picture full of life and strength on every page. Pregnancy, human life in the womb and labor are often looked down upon in our culture. There is also often fear around childbirth itself. Katherine does an excellent job communicating the beautiful truths of childbirth and how we were designed and chosen to bring forth life and to do so without fear. ⁣

What I enjoyed the most was the Biblical thread throughout the book. Birth and the Bible are not focused on in depth. Most preachers or teachers will not even bring it up. It was fascinating to make these correlations as Katherine wove in God’s truth from His word.⁣

For those that enjoy a chance to write notes or reflections there is a journal page at the end of each chapter. What I enjoyed was that this was a book that provided hope for my own journey as well as helped provide some reconciliation of my miscarriage. The grief chapter addresses loss in many forms. No matter your loss, it does not mean you and your child were not any less chosen.⁣

Katherine makes it clear in remarkable ways how each of us are chosen. We are chosen to be life givers. We are chosen to steward life, live life and see God’s hand in the beautiful formation of a human being from conception to birth. ⁣

Momma, you are strong. ⁣

You are strong to grow a baby and birth it. Momma, you are strong amidst loss and baby birthing too soon. Momma, you are chosen no matter what part of this journey you are on. ⁣

Enjoy The Views

Do you ever feel lost, dazed, and always behind?

Lately I have felt all these things not because of poor choices but because I am living my best life. Loving my family well is my first priority.  I ask God daily for wisdom, insight and help. He has blessed us far beyond comprehension at this point.

Recently, I haven’t had time or the thought process to get my jumbled words out onto paper. I have had so many thoughts recently. Thoughts about human trafficking, the church, abuse, how Jesus heals, love, rest as a weapon and so much more. These thoughts are all wound up in my head like messy yarn. Instead of writing I see the beautiful faces of those I love and they have needed me more. When I begin one thing I am needed for someone else and I forget to finish what I began. If you are around when this happens please don’t take it personal. I am truly doing my best here to keep up with those that need me.

I often struggle with not being able to do everything I set my heart to get done. I have missed some writing deadlines, none that were required of me, but I set a personal goal to submit guest posts once a month. I found myself getting frustrated at myself for not being able to complete these submissions despite the drastic life changes my husband and I have had recently.

Have you ever been hard on yourself despite circumstances being far beyond your control? Why are we so hard on ourselves over things that don’t matter?

Once I realized how hard I was being on myself I chose to put my phone down, except to take photos, and enjoy the view. Whether it was hearing giggles and seeing smiling faces or providing tissues for tear streaked cheeks with heartache coming to the surface, I chose to be fully present in it all. I suppose I have been attempting to truly live this way since February but I hadn’t realized how much of our busy and performance based culture was imbedded into my DNA.

I have had to say, “no” more than I can count and take rain checks more often recently to ensure that I am fully present and living in obedience. This has also meant that goals have been slowed, not stopped, and life filled with other foreign things during a time unknown to us all. If I do not take the time to choose wisely I will miss it. What will I miss? I will miss those moments where those in my life need me and want to be the center of my world in that moment. I will miss the laughter and the hugs. I will miss the epic stories. I will miss the hiking trails and the messy faces, the scraped knees that need bandaging and my name being called in a sweet voice. I will miss the losses and the incredible victories.

I will miss the views.

The views that are beautiful beyond words and take your breathe away. The type of views you have prayed your entire life for and are struggling to soak in because it seems so surreal that finally you are living it!

Each of us must soak these views in because they will pass like a vapor in the wind too soon.

If you are struggling today to enjoy your view take a nice deep breathe in, exhale slowly and realize that this won’t last. You will miss some precious moments because they come and go in a blink of an eye. Give yourself grace as each day passes and a new one begins. Goals and dreams are waiting but those that need you won’t always be there like they are today.

Let each of us put down our phone, keep our wind blown hair and enjoy the views.

Chosen

Today I felt like this might speak to someone who needs to hear this truth. Katherine Newsom is a new friend whose book, Chosen: Birth + Faith Through A Doula Lens, has blessed me greatly. It is set to release this Tuesday, July 28th. It can be purchased on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles and Target.

As women, each of us are in different stages. Some of us are on our first pregnancy journey or on the third, 5th or more. Some of us are childless, having experienced the pain of childbirth too soon and a great loss. Others may not even be ready for the journey towards baby and growing a family.

Yet, each of us are chosen. What a beautiful truth that unites us!

If you have experienced grief from a loss of your child remember that does not make you any less of a Mother. Your child is important and worth celebrating no matter the length of time you had together. My Michael is up in Heaven enjoying building sand castles and rolling down hills full of lush grass. Perhaps some of your kids that have crossed the Heaven journey are joining him? Can you not imagine the giggles and squeals of pure joy? I want to live my life like that despite the loss.

Whether you’ve lost a child or not, this darling gift book is full of gems for any stage you’re blessed to behold and walk. Each of us are chosen. Your value exceeds anything you’ve done or been through.

Order by clicking here: Chosen: Birth + Faith Through A Doula Lens