Rest Amidst The Mess

What you don’t see is two piles of laundry waiting for me to my right!

Here is a view into my messy, imperfect yet beautiful life! My bedroom has become work place, devotional space, counseling room, writing space, love room, and laundry room. It is a safe and sacred place. I often weep in here behind closed doors and I laugh endlessly.

Life has a funny way of making one pliable in all of the seasons. This season is no different. My house is full and noise travels down every hall and into each room. Our table is messy and vacuuming has to wait until classes are complete. Things are out of place, the lamp shade gets knocked cockeyed and I let it be.⁣

My dog here reminds me to slow down. Others have encouraged me to let things be. God in His goodness speaks grace upon grace as each day I think I should do it all. He tells me He can but I cannot.

So, here I am drinking my afternoon decaf with a pile of things to do while joining my dog who naps effortlessly. ⁣

I sip and savor my Kafiex pour-over and take a moment to pause. Everyone needs a break.⁣

What do you do to stop and rest amidst your mess?⁣

In Awe As Dreams Come True!

I have to admit something to you. I am an optimist. In some cases others may consider me a little too positive. I mean, have you looked at the world lately? And my response is always, “Yes, and I look through my Creators eyes and see hope everywhere I look.”

Most people who see me on a given day would never know what I’ve lived through and overcome throughout my life. No one would know that 5 months ago I could hardly get out of bed because my body had crashed but I got up and loved my family anyway. We were also enduring some incredible hardships and injustices that will never make sense.

Each day I am faced with a choice in the good and the not so good, how I am going to live my life.

I choose hope. I choose joy. I choose to live my life to the fullest measure, loving God and others with everything within me. I choose to defeat the enemy and teach my small family the same.

Recently doors have opened to some huge, HUGE dreams I have had since middle school. It feels like God has taken good care of my dreams and has prepared me for this year… The year of Covid and civil unrest. Amidst hardship and injustices, God is giving me my dreams. I feel so blessed! Words often fail me as I live in awe. I am speechless as I look at how God has provided supernaturally, performed the impossible (someday we can share these details) and how He has established my family as we seek more growth.

My heart resonates with Isaiah 54:1-3,

“Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord . “Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left, and your offspring will possess the nations and will people the desolate cities.”

I have often gone to this passage after years of being barren. What God has done in the past several years has been far greater than a full womb could have given me. Children do not heal souls or solve issues in life. Children are a gift and like arrows in a quiver (Psalm 127:4) but they are not the Restorer, Savior or Healer, God is.

There are moments I wonder if I will awaken from a dream but I know God has already awakened me. Hardships come every day. Healing and justice is a daily battle. But God’s goodness is beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Words do no justice to explain, or to reveal His goodness. He is present in everything I do because I desire Him in everything I do. He gives such good gifts. His healing lasts forever. His joy doesn’t spoil. In fact, His joy remains steadfast just as His love does throughout any trial, mountain or storm. He is amazing!

As I stand looking over mountains and valleys, I see Him. There are more hard times coming and difficult, gut wrenching giants to face, but I know He will lead me to the promised land.

I cannot wait for some big announcements coming soon that I will get to share with each of you, my faithful readers and friends. My desire is that when I can share these dreams as they unfold, that it will reignite the hope within you to never give up. God is in the hope business. He is the best at taking those hardships and pressures to bring forth a beautiful, priceless pearl. He wrote specific dreams and passions into your DNA.

Trust Him.

Lean into His chest and let Him revive the things of old, as He was dreaming of YOU while He formed YOU in your Mother’s womb. It brings Him great joy to walk you into your dreams.

These dreams come with surrender and sacrifice because these are God sized dreams, not human failing ones. You will find that as you move closer to Him, He will move closer to you. My prayer is that we would desire Him more than anything. It is in His presence where every solution to every human need and desire lies. The dreams we long for are found in Him.

Continue reading “In Awe As Dreams Come True!”

Getting Caught Up…

I don’t know when things changed. I cannot tell you when it happened. What I do know is that I have forever been changed. My life looks a lot different than I ever thought it would look, and it is better than I imagined.

One day I made a choice to not live offended or full of anxiety and fear. At first it was not easy. It took a lot of discipline and consistency. I had to surrender my flesh and allow Holy Spirit to reign. Each day that I chose this, I moved closer to the feet of Jesus. One day, “it” just happened. Instead of finding myself shrinking back and silent, I was running towards my enemies in a full on attack. I had had enough and it was time for the thieves and liars to be put in their place. Every day I confronted injustices. Boldness grew to a 10ft giant inside my soul.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” – Ephesians 6:12 NLT

I see pain in others and injustices running rampant, and instead of fear I get angry at the abuse and mockery I see. My heart pumps full of love for those hurting. I want to run towards the evil causing the pain! I want to demolish it in its path. It is payback! I’m chasing it. It deserves to go back to hell where it belongs. Boldness grows because I know without a doubt who God is. He is big and mighty and so good. His heart is full of so much love that He designed eternity for us to experience His love every day.

It is His love that has held me steadfast in 2020. I have chosen to get caught up with Jesus rather than the current political climate, culture upheaval and media frenzy. Jesus is always the best decision. He calms storms, provides stability and brings contentment in every circumstance.

Stop sharing the news and begin sharing the Good News. Get caught up with Jesus.

Jesus is the Greatest!