My Dear Angel Child

Today you would have been 5 months old. A year ago you made your grand entrance into heaven instead. I will never understand why you had to go so soon. I will never understand why out of nowhere you came and out of nowhere you left. You were a gift that sparked new hope. Because of you a promise came.

In the E.R. I remember breathing through the rolls of cramps asking God to save you. Despite the pain. Despite not receiving the care I went there for. Despite sitting in a plastic chair amidst strangers. Despite losing you in the bathroom I still had hope.

All I did was praise. In those moments of both physical and emotional pain I focused on prayer & worship. At this point I had already lost you and the pains kept coming. I had not been given any medicine so I just breathed through and began to sing quietly under my breath. Somehow, deep down I knew God would turn all things to good and be glorified in all this. So I sang for God to be glorified. I sang the truth of who He was because He was the only constant and unchanging thing in my life. He still is.

It has been a year. Since then I have run after the enemy in pursuit of justice. I have been prayed for almost every month. Issues I’ve had for over 20 years gone because of prayer. My faith has grown. In the Philippines I prayed for many wombs to open and for babies to come. I expect to see babies in those ladies arms.

The enemy can try to steal and try to keep what’s ours but only for the length of time that we are believing lies about our inheritance. Once you realize who you are and whose you are there is no stopping you from storming enemy camp and claiming what is yours.

But goodness, this past year has been intense! The past 3 months have been the most intense of all. Waiting for a promise (or 2 or 3) is not an easy feat. There will always be a battle before your victory. I also believe that because of you my dear angel child in heaven, that my faith grew in order to claim new territory for our family. As I have done this I have realized how important it is to remain steadfast because claiming new territory can awaken dragons intended to cause delays or destruction. That new territory is worth a lot otherwise it would be easy.

Today I choose to celebrate you my dear child. I choose to praise through the tears. I choose to sing like I did in the E.R. God has not changed. He never will. He is still the miracle worker. He is still the way maker. And He is still the promise keeper.

Happy Birthday Michael! I love you.

In A Pit With A Lion

A mountain and a promise.

You are in a pit with a lion. What do you do?

Do you panic and freeze, or try to hide and cower in the corner?

No.

You will face that lion. With every breath you take it will remind you that the Lord is with you. He will not fail.

As the lion paces he licks his lips with a ravenous look of hunger in his eyes. He looks so confident. After all, he is the lion and you are but mere prey. And you are in a pit with no rope. You have no ladder to climb or person to get you out. The lion knows that you have nowhere to go and the smell of you makes his mouth water. He can smell the sweat drip from your forehead.

What do you do?

You stare that lion down with a fierceness that defies any potential fear shaking your bones. Every fiber in your being knows that God will save you. You crush any doubts within milliseconds of them entering your thoughts. You stand your ground.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

The lion slowly creeps closer. Closer still he comes until you can feel the heat of his breathe on your neck. He sniffs your hair.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

You begin to hear a low guttural noise and he rubs his mane up against you. Soon he is rubbing up against you, back and forth. Gently you move your hands up and begin to pet his glorious mane.

What is this? This hungry lion meant to eat you is now as friendly as a dog.

What was supposed to be for your ruin has been reversed. You must wait a while longer before you are pulled out of the pit with the lion.

There is grace in the waiting. What joy there is for the reversal of the plans of the enemy.

Now you can wait confidently expectant of victory in a pit with a lion!