Better Had You

Recently I have entered into an interesting season contending for breakthrough. As an intercessor some seasons can be more intense than others. A week ago words flooded my mind as I put pen to paper. The words were from the perspective of the individual(s) I had been praying for.

This is not what I normally share but perhaps you may feel led to pray for the thousands just like this. Rise up and foster, adopt and step up to love kids in abusive situations.

“Your words hit me like a ton of bricks in my gut. Your neglect and words beat me until I can no longer breathe.

Better had you hit me with your fists. Better had you slammed my head into the door. At least with those bruises others who could save me would see. Better had you given me welts on my skin so that teachers, pastors, counselors and friends could document my pain. If you had only hit me physically, I would already be safe at my loving home.

But you choose to injure my heart and torture my soul. By your words and neglect you leave me for dead. I have to live by myself surrounded by wolves hoping I can stay safe enough where I am.

I am so close to safety. I am so near to love. Every chance you get it gives you pleasure to rob me of those two gifts.

Why won’t you let me go?”

It is a sad reality if one is wishing to be beat in hopes of someone noticing other forms of abuse.

To all those suffering like this we call you safely home. We call you into arms ready to love and care for you. You are loved.

In The Thick Of It

Are you waiting for promises?

The more I learn about perseverance the more I realize how much work goes into seeing promises come to fruition. If you are expecting a promise to just magically appear without any struggle or waiting period, you will be full of disappointment. Promises do not come without a battle. The bigger the promise the bigger the battle. On the same note the bigger the promise the bigger the victory will be.

While you are in the thick of it remember that God is faithful.

Expect a lot of hard work, blood, sweat, and tears. Anything worth having does not come easy. It will come with risks and challenges.

In my past I used to feel so defeated when month after month victory seemed so out of reach. Instead of seeing how close victory was I either complained, felt sorry for myself or put on pride and told God, “I got this now because obviously you are not doing anything.”

Lord, forgive me for those times! I could have chosen praise rather than believing the lie of defeat. I could have stood my ground. I could have laughed in the face of the enemy.

But that was the past.

Today I choose to stand my ground.

Today I choose joy.

Today I choose to rejoice in the goodness of the Lord.

Today I laugh in the face of the enemy.

I continue to laugh as he flees.

I laugh my way into victory!

The Step Or Bonus

You are important.

You matter.

As a Stepmom Mother’s day is a strange day. It is filled with tension and love. By Monday I feel like I can take a deep breath and finally relax after Sunday is complete.

If you are a fellow Stepmom you know that some may acknowledge your role while others will not. Some of you desperately need and want to be accepted if it is a simple, “Thank you”.

This year Mother’s day is difficult for other reasons for me. Some reasons I will not share in this post but will reserve for another time.

I do not need a day like Mother’s day. I am blessed knowing that I am important and valued by those that matter most to me. I am often celebrated multiple times a year. I am blessed!

But the day does lead to other struggles and I would be happy to skip the day all together.

It will be the 3rd year without my Mom here. Even though the Lord has removed the deep grief I used to live with, the day is filled with a twinge of sadness. I am so blessed to have others in my life who love me like a daughter and I know that my Mom would be happy for these beautiful ones who cherish me so.

The day also brings an awkwardness as my daughter struggles. My desire is for her to love and cherish her Mom. As she grapples and struggles through her situation it is difficult to see her be put into situations that she never should have to be put in. She is a model of bravery and courage as she battles to love everyone even at the expense of her heart from one side.

Finally as Mother’s day approaches I grieve my baby. I should have been 30 weeks pregnant.

It was going to be a celebration of this beautiful miracle. Life should have been moving and growing within me as my family of 3 anticipated the arrival of number 4 this summer.

Despite the struggles I have new hope, and have found joy in letting go. I look forward to what is to come this year. In fact, the more I spend time allowing Jesus to heal my mind, body & soul, the more I laugh at what the enemy has attempted to destroy. It is payback year and the dues must be paid. Justice and victory are coming.

For those of you struggling with similar things I encourage you to know that God hears every hearts cry. He sees every tear that falls. He is for you and your family whether you are acknowledged for loving and caring for your kids or not. Whether you are a Foster Mom, Stepmom (bonus Mom), Adoptive Mom, or Grandma who has taken on the role of Mom- you are seen, known, and valued. Your kids need you. The enemy will try to tell you otherwise and others will jump on that bandwagon but it will never change the truth.

You are important.

You are valued.

You matter.

Keep loving no matter who tries to stop you.